i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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