Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
