Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
