Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize