He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
