I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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