I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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