i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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