i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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