I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Pants are for mortals
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize