Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
