This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
