I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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