dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
