Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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