Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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