I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
