she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
