I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Every concussion has its silver lining
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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