My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
