just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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