you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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