Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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