he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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