i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
