I need help removing her.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
