i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
