well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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