Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
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He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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