remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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