it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think pants incapable of making pants work
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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