I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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