She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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