Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
