Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
