Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
