When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
