the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
