My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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