I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I skipped work to stalk him.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
