WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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