Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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