We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
