You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
