I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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