The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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