I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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