Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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