i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
