3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
