we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
