some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he was CRYING into my vagina
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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