This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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