Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
