ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
