i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
