yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
