if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
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