that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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