All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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