My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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